Not a good weekend

After a solid week in the chair getting treatment I felt my body going south on Thursday night and all day Friday. I was hoping that the weekend would bring me back to life considering that I didn't have to actually take the chemo medications, but that wasn't the case. I got worse throughout the weekend. I don't really remember it much at all. I simply laid on the couch and was a zombie. I felt the worst I have in a long time and probably since that first week. I got my Neulasta (boost WBC) shot on Saturday morning and then I got a bad rash all over my mid section. Jennifer took great care of me, but I couldn't even play with Lachlan at all. I was simply watching my family move around me and couldn't participate. I slept a little Sunday arvo and got to bed early Sunday night. Of course I woke up @ 6am wanting to eat. Thats another thing. I have gained too much weight during these last few months and I'm disgusted in that. I have put my energy into getting better and I have found that it means I eat more. Then I don't burn it off and it accumulates. I know I will get it off but it will take a long time. I also thought what was life without knowing that I had a tumor, or cancer? Will I always be thinking about the tumor inside of me? Will it hold me back from pushing beyond the comfort zone? I was so used to pushing myself to the highest limit when  I was younger, but will that change now that I have this holding me back? I'm not too sure. It has been a rough weekend and today I'm trying to get better. I just got back from a 25 min walk with Dot. Nice and easy. To get some fresh air into my lungs as I have been couped up in the house for too long.
The rash is getting better, but the last thing I want is another IV in my arm pumping me with antihistamines. My veins are shot.